“There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” (W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM)

Monday, July 28, 2014

Co-Poets pt. 4 (revisions)

revision or re-vision

This is my favorite part of the collaborative process, watching what happens when one person gets to take the helm and forge their own way based on what has been created. They often use the familiar(what has already been written) but not always. You will see how different the revised pieces are from each other as well as the original creations. First is the revision from Steve Pump...

things i've forgotten

early morning, half asleep,
one palm open to receive my daily loam,
the other closed around what's left of the night:
dream-glass, the dust
of dry and crumbled leaves,
shadows in tatters, a hole down which i roam.

in stations underground i wait
for guests to arrive from distant dates.
when the skeletons detrain,
still wet with rain from others states,
how will i recognize their faces,
reflections in the stagnant air?

our ghosts have no eyes, no names.
they huddle together for warmth until,
like an unbearable weight removed,
they evaporate and disappear.
i lie suspended in bed for the hour,
between stations of forgetting
and not forgetting, grasping between lights


  1. Wow! I love this piece. If I m not mistaken, Steve, I think you took elements from all three of the original pieces and incorporated them into this magnificent poem.

  2. I would have liked to see your piece. Steve did a great job with this piece. I love the images

  3. "still wet with rain from other states" This is one of those lines that I wish I would have written...

  4. This poem conveys the unnatural pain of descending from someone made anonymous by uberviolence.